Black fire!
By Walter Robokoff
What about Christians?
They supposed to be born again. They have the Holy Spirit and can communion with God! They’re relationship with God is fully restored!
Position vs. experience:
Really? The scriptures speak of a positional restoration. That is –we are justified by faith in Christ. The legal penalty has been paid and they are forgiven.
But there is a world of difference between one’s spiritual position and one’s spiritual experience while living with a sinful nature in a sinful world.
We may be restored perfectly in legal position, but that is just the beginning of a long real-life pilgrimage of growth, in which we gradually transform the realities of redemption to our life on earth. A growth based in large part on pain.
Pain may seem bad, but it is in fact not evil. It can actually serve a very good purpose, though we tend not to see it that way while in the midst of its torment.
But what about maintaining a “positive confession?”
There is a misunderstanding in a large part of the church that associates pain with the negative and therefore automatically evil.
You’ve doubtless heard of the need for Christians to practice a “positive confession” in all things.
The implied assumption therefore is that anything contrary to this doctrine is obviously evil.
The number of guilt trips I’ve encountered during my depressions because of a lack of “positive confession” are without number.
On top of the unbearable weight of burning darkness, I had the added guilt that I lacked the faith to be healed.
Not unlike the friends of Job (whom we never really seem to learn from) I was assured countless times that If I would just get rid of the “secret sin I would be alright. I would crawl out of prayer meetings more discouraged than when I went in.
I have to wonder if those who fanatically practice this doctrine have ever read the psalms, where negative confession abounds.
Indeed the Bible itself is filled with instances of people suffering great pain in their efforts to reach out and live for God.
What about Joseph imprisoned for obeying God, David in his many wilderness flights from Saul - a madman who would not rest until David was dead?
And then there is the New Testament with its countless woes of beatings, stoning, whippings, more imprisonments and plots to murder people whose only goal was to share the good news?
Negative confessions? What about Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane?
It was the Apostle Paul who insisted that weaknesses, infirmities, pain, and suffering were for our good to bring us closer to God!
As the book of Job has taught us pain and suffering, no matter how severe, are not necessarily related to sin! In fact, its ultimate purpose may never be clear to us, for God is under no such obligation to make it clear.
Imagine how different Job’s response might have been if he could only see that he was set in the middle of a spiritual stadium with myriads of angels and demons looking on just to see if he would indeed, under such pressure glorify God!
Sin obviously produces pain and suffering. This does not mean that all pain and suffering are related to sin.
Helping the depressed by not being so helpful:
Unfortunately those who are already bearing the unbearable, often have the added weight of criticism from those that don’t understand.
Sadder still is the fact that the church, comprised of the very people that ought to be understanding and filled with compassion, are often the very ones who criticize and preach to the depressed with the full persuasion that secret sin must lie at the core, and its their job as prophet to find it, expose it, and force the needed repentance.
The two most painful comments are that those who are depressed are lacking in faith or just plain filled with self-pity.
Sadly there seems to be no end to scripture quoting for healing to be claimed or attitudes corrected.
If you are one who, though well intentioned have so addressed the hurting, stop! Stop before you destroy what little strength they may have left.
Chances are the depressed already feel more guilt than you can pile on. Endless introspection during the many dark hours and in a pain that has no answer, leaves many already sure that things between them and God are as bad as they can be, and they need no more mountains of crippling guilt piled on top of every other black wave flooding their soul.
Suicide:
Speaking directly to the depressed there are two points I need to make immediately.
(1) You’re not in hell no matter how real it that may seem (especially if your depression is stirred with overwhelming anxiety and terror).
(2) Under no circumstances take your life – no matter how intense the urge becomes. Regardless of how things seem this very moment, there actually is help you have yet to discover, especially for those with faith in Christ.
The number of times I felt within a split-second of taking my life is more than I can actually count.
Many times I was afraid of my impulses – that I would do something spontaneously at the spur of a moment because of the intensity of the pain.
Many times I feared doing it out of sheer panic without my “official OK.”
You’ve heard the phrase “out of the frying pan and into the fire.” I have no guarantees – nor does anyone else on this side of the grave, that suicide would lead to a sure relief.
There are religious and spiritual issues that the finest theologians still debate on this issue.
So if the chance is even one in a million of more suffering, even with those odds I would not risk gambling my eternity away.
Imagine spending the rest of forever realizing that no matter how crazy it seemed – you were wrong!
Suicide is an unrepeatable act which cannot be undone.
No matter how hard you cry – you will never come back.
You will never have a second chance.
I am not suggesting that all suicides go to hell. There was a time in my life where I was convinced this could never happen to one such as myself. The truth is – I really don’t know anymore. Maybe I never did.
Over the years however I’ve spotted countless errors in my thinking and interpretation of scripture, enough to say that I no longer profess to know for sure on this issue.
In other words, as much as I may hate to admit it, I cannot make a guarantee against this possibility for anyone.
I may be imperfect in my faith or doctrine. But this is a chance not worth taking. Better to be safe than sorry.
No matter how remote, it is not worth the chance of an act with eternal consequences that can never be undone.
Sure I may pray that mercy would override the judgment of God and prevent such an outcome, but I am not God, and am unwilling to find out through experience that I was wrong.
So if you feel that bad now, but down this book and call 911. Your friends may not understand and it may seem overdramatic and scary, but it is infinitely better to wake up tomorrow in a hospital bed than in further torment that lasts forever.